Did you know May is National Tennis Month? I’ve been in and around the game for decades and never heard an inkling about it. And yet, apparently, it’s a thing. So let’s do something Beyond Reason has never done before. Letís talk tennis.

Tennis is a lifetime sport. People play tennis into their nineties. Know anyone in their nineties getting out for jai alai? Log rolling? Skeet shooting? Didn’t think so.

Tennis is also incredible for your brain health. Turns out tracking, chasing, and swinging a racket at a little yellow ball is exceptionally good for your cerebral matter.

Tennis is also quite good for your body. Tennis requires serious athleticism – agility, handeye coordination, strength, speed, timing, and balance.

Finally, tennis is good for your soul. I’d put the high of a good day on the court up against any drug on the planet. (Although I hear nice things about Molly.)

The thing is, while tennis is fantastic for your body, mind, and soul, it turns out, tennis is bad for cinema.

I mention this because earlier this month many people said the number one movie in America was a tennis movie. But let me set the record straight. Challengers isn’t selling tennis; Challengers is selling sex, which, no matter how much you love tennis, is not the same thing.

These actors trained for many months with world-class coaches so they would look like real players. Not only do they not look like real players, they don’t look like recreational players. These actors have zero technique.

Actors pretending to play tennis players remind me of Inspector Clouseau doing karate. Except Sellers plays it for laughs! Most actors on a tennis court play it straight. Let’s consider tennis in film.

Annie Hall (1977) – The actors portray very casual players and almost pull it off. In tennis we call this a “good miss”.

Battle of the Sexes (2017) The most recent of many pics about Billie Jean King vs. Bobby Riggs attempts tennis from “the TV angle”. The wide angle works well in “Lawrence of Arabia” but is bad for tennis. This shot’s long.

Blow-Up (1966) – In the final scene of this classic Antonioni picture, the protagonist watches two mimes “playing tennis”. No ball, no racket seems hard to screw up, right? Yet notice how the only time the mimes actually follow through is when they “miss a shot” and “throw their racket”. This shot’s way wide.

Bridesmaids (2011) – Closeups, quick cuts, and an AC/DC soundtrack cannot hide the fact that neither these fantastic comedic actors nor their mediocre director are familiar with tennis. This thing is a forced error.

Fletch (1985) – Fletch demonstrates decent forehand technique (core turn), hitting the ball with his racket cover still on! That’s an ace!

King Richard (2021) – The young actors are buoyed with quick, efficient editing but the actors playing the best tennis coaches in the world canít even feed a ball properly?! Unforced error.

Royal Tennenbaums (2001) Richie Tenenbaum, tennis professional, tanks – takes off his shoes, sits on the court, throws his racket at the ball, etc. That’s a clean winner!

The Squid and the Whale (2005) – This high-brow flick takes the casual player from Annie Hall, adds a complex family dynamic, showing us this amazing cast never hit a tennis ball before or since the making of this picture. Double fault.

Strangers on a Train (1951) The Master of Suspense shows his lead swiping at tennis balls like they’re mosquitos. That shot’s in the tape.

Wimbledon (2004) – Paul Bettany is one of the most versatile actors of our time and yet he flails awkwardly, miserably, terribly at a CGI tennis ball. This one’s out by a mile.

Seven Days in Hell (2015) This is the only film in the history of cinema where actors playing touring tennis pros are a joy to watch because instead of studying tennis, they studied Inspector Clouseau doing karate. Game, set, and match!

So May is National Tennis Month. Apparently. Feel free to grab a racket, take to the court and nourish your soul or check out tennis on the big screen and wonder what all the fuss is about.